"A Late Bloomer & A Bear Thats Been to the Fair..."

I have had an amazing life... A life replete with so much joy, happiness, pain, sorrow....and hope. God has been so good to me:)
I think my favorite time of day is at twilight..I love beautiful sunsets...I think because you stand at the place of a day in the life being just about completed...yet on the brink of a new tomorrow..... and the promise that it brings. I know the value and importance of being in the moment and being present here and now...for we are not promised tomorrow, yet I know that I am getting ready to enter into a whole new season in my life and I can't focus on the rear view mirror. I find it so interesting to get to this place and feeling somehow like I am eighteen years old standing on the brink of a whole new world...."The Wild Frontier" Now Lord??!! At this season in my life!! It is such a dichotomy to me..God has given me wisdom I know...yet I feel so childlike at times..filled with wonder......it is sooo mysterious... What an amazing feeling. God truly does renew our youth like the eagle when we wait on Him. I never dreamed I would get to this place in my life and be where I am. I marvel at what God has done in my life even though it is still some hard times...My friend Becky said to me yesterday that she and Bill were talking on the way home the other night.. about me....she said "we can not believe it..you don't age at all... what is it!!??" I don't know what to say...after everything in my life ...an accident that left me unrecognizable...never had to have the plastic surgery scheduled for my face!! Miracles!...being so ill as a child...I should really be dead! But I'm still here:) Thank God!! It is all by His redeeming grace Becky....all by his grace. And the amazing thing is I feel like there is still so much I haven't experienced! And I believe the best is yet to come.... even though I have traveled, a career in music, ...there are things I still want to experience. Like romance...Paris... trains in the countryside...... and the love of my life. I guess I'm a late bloomer...most people get to this place in their life and have that... or at least have experienced it. I write about it....it comes from such a deep place in my soul...but I have never experienced it with someone.... A shared life like that.... I mean "crazy koo-koo off the chain at the same time reciprocated kind of love:) !" And it is very scary when you look around and see all the confusion with men and women...women chasing after men...and men expecting to be chased!! What in the world has happened to us? Don't women want to feel like Cora did in "The Last of The Mohicans" when Nathaniel said to her in a torrent of passion" No matter how long it takes..no matter how far...I will find you...just stay alive ..I will find you!!" I'm not saying that a woman ought to derive the meaning of her existence from whether or not she has been, or is being romanced by a man, but don't you see that she wants this.....she wants to feel like someone's priority. Most of our addictions as women flare up when we feel that we are not loved or sought after... A man is wired to pursue a woman... and a woman is wired to be desired!! I think it is God's creative design... and I think the most fun way!:) Why does a man just sit back passively like he's got corn for sale? Could be "He's Just Not That Into You"? I believe that when a man wants a woman she will feel like she has a "Wanted" poster tatooed to her chest...:) Think about the movies you love...I just watched a great one "P.S. I Love You" I have watched it several times this week...The love story was amazing...he died in it , and I wasn't focusing on that part( It's time to live!!:)...but about the great love that they shared...he loved her so passionately. And she loved him so passionately. One of my favorite James Taylor songs is "A Woman's Got To Have It"...A woman just said recently"I don't want to hang my life on it, but still I yearn" Of course .You're a woman!....It is no fun being "crazy koo-koo" in love with someone by yourself. And settling just to have someone is totally out of the question...for me. There are worse things than being alone( even though it is soooo tough!!) and that is being with someone where it is "compromise" all the time and not "suitability!!" Bill and Becky have a great love... Bill wrote a song called "Holding Out"...and it is the truth. I'm holding out for my great love. I wrote something years ago.. and I found it this week in a box on a piece of paper ...." I want a bear whose been to the fair! A man who knows what it is like to love and lose everything...because when God presents a great love in his life...he'll know the treasure and the gift that she is...and he won't let her go." Here is a quote from the movie "P.S. I Love You." Harry Connick Jr. was standing there with Hillary Swank talking.....and I will leave the page with this for now.... he said to her as they were looking at a couple across the way..."We're so arrogant aren't we? We're so afraid of age...we do everything we can to prevent it. We don't realize what a priviledge it is to grow old with someone. Someone who doesn't drive you to commit murder.....or who doesn't humiliate you beyond repair..." Lord have mercy...