"Tenderness of Spirit...(The Cream of Heaven:) ) ...and the joy of being sequestered

"Wednesday is Indigo Blue"..........That is the title of a new book I am getting ready to read."Discovering the world of synesthesia.
A person with synesthesia might feel the flavor of food on their fingertips..sense the letter J as shimmering magenta or the number 5 as emerald green. A woman might hear and taste her husband's voice as buttery golden brown.(that's what I'm talkin about...:)) Synesthetes rarely talk about their peculiar sensory gift. Synesthesia occurs in one in twenty people and is more common among artists. I am very interested in this because I believe I experience this sometimes...especially with music I can see colors sometimes. This is going to be a very fascinating read. And I guess now is the time to do it. I must confess I have been experiencing some frustration for the past few days in that there are things I would like to do and I haven't been able to get done.This time is so precious to me right now, not having a job and all, so I am very conscious of the gift it is in some ways, and feeling very responsible for things to be accomplished while I have the time to do it in others, but God is showing me some things for sure!!...On Sunday I started having some discomfort in my left ear. I have had to deal with some inner ear issues since I was a little girl from an illness...haven't had any problems with it for a long while but here I am having to stay down..somehow I have gotten an inner ear infection and fluid building up in my left ear. The doctor has given me some strict orders and one of them is to relax and stay down for a couple days...ooooh why is this sooo hard? I am not very good at practicing patience right now, I am totally confessing this.... and I can clearly see.. I want to "control" some of this time. Time to "let go and let God" for sure! the thing about me is when I "get it" I really "get it" it might take a minute but when I get it I get it!.... so I am going to go with the flow and get the understanding of "waiting on god "let patience have her perfect work that you may be perfect and complete and lacking in nothing" James 1:4 Because even though I feel like I need to know what to do right now and what about a job?.... and oh my gosh!!! a zilllion other questions...what about music ...my life,what about this Lord and what about that?!!....gee I want the answers now!!!!:) All of them!! OK ..baby girl.. slow down and "be anxious for nothing!" Jeremiah 29:11 says" For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for calamity...to give you a future and a hope!."
That is so true and so beautiful. So basiclly I need to cool my jets right now...take a chill pill!!:) Let go and Let God...and I am going to do just that...so today it is jammy day on the sofa, fire in the fireplace, lots of green tea,listening to music, and reading about synesthesia! The book says that Billy Joel has this. Interesting ...this is something beautiful I just read in "Springs in the Valley" book....Tenderness of spirit cannot be borrowed or put on for special occasions: it is emphatically supernatural and must flow out incessantly from the interior fountain of the "Christ-life".It is an exquisitely interior fountain of God's own sweetness and tenderness of nature, opened up in the inner spirit to such a degree that it completely inundates the soul overflowing all the mental faculties, and saturating with its sweet waters, the manners, expressions, words, and tones of the voice; mellowing the will, softening the judgement, melting the affections, refining the manners, and moulding the whole being after the image of Him who was infinitely meek and lowly in heart. Oh my gosh !!...I love this statement...listen to this... what beautiful verbage...It is possible to be "religious" (haha) yuk yuk:o...perfect in all Christian duties, to be a brave defender and preacher of holiness, blameless in outward life, and good works and yet be greatly lacking in tenderness of spirit....that all subduing, all melting love...which is the very cream and quintessence of Heaven, and which incessantly streamed out from the voice and eyes of Jesus." Wow....."the very cream and quintessence of heaven"...what a phrase...wow...the voice and the eyes...my prayer today is that tenderness of spirit...all melting love,the cream of heaven, would come out to others through my voice and eyes. Please do that for me Lord. Amen! That is one of my new prayers forever now! Help me with fear about singing Lord....and whenever I do sing, or speak with someone Lord .........please let the very cream and quintessence of heaven flow out of my voice and eyes from you... to people.......Gee if I had not been sequestered to this sofa today I may not have ever read this...God knows what he is allowing..... and what He is doing....
I have nothing further to say your honor....haha:)

"Life..."

I'm back to write now....This has been an interesting week. Spent Thanksgiving with some friends. And I met some lovely people from Africa...they were so warm and dear... and we all had dinner together...Sanmi, Yinka, Yebi, and Tobi...Temi and Bimpe,Sharon and Wendell, Daryl and Pam....lovely time together. Then on Saturday my dear friend of over twenty five years, Sharon came for a visit. She is just back from a trip to Israel and she arrived Saturday afternoon. What a joy to see her...she wanted to take us out to have dinner Saturday night, but I knew she had been travelling and really felt she needed some R&R badly. So I insisted we hang out and that we did. We went in the kitchen and hung out there for a good while and talked and laughed while I cooked...and I mean cook I did!! Some serious Italian cooking!! I made home made fettucine alfredo (Aunt Stella's recipe) and my"Pollo Ala' Patti" chicken in a wine cream sauce with peppers and mushrooms...garlic bread....baked an apple cream cheese crostada for desert and coffee! Oh my gosh we were laughing so hard...Sharon went crazy over the food!! We stayed up late Satuday night...got in our jammy's and had a fire in the fireplace, I partially decorated the living room for Christmas with twinkling little white lights in some trees, candles lit up...we just got blankets and piled up on both ends of the sofa and laughed and talked for hours. We had tears talking about Israel...I went some years back and we both shared what our experiences were like....we finallly fell asleep and Sunday morning I made us breakfast and we talked for a few hours again and then she had to leave to go on to Knoxville to look at a site for an event. Sharon is very knowledgable about politics in Washington and is the event planner for a key group in D.C. and what is going on "on the hill" so we discussed alot of things regarding that and the direction our country is headed in right now. Serious stuff....we go deep..on all topics!! She is like a sister I never had! It was bittersweet saying goodbye...the time went so fast. She called me on the way to Knoxville and said she felt like she was at an "Oasis" of refreshing and felt such peace and comfort here at my place and felt so refreshed and revived when she left. That meant so much to me. I've always had a dream of having a real home...a house someday... where friends would come and it would be filled with music, and love, and joy, and good food, and a wonderful place to be. I've had a vision of it...with a big sign in the sky over it that says "Happy House!!!":) All things are possible with God right!!:) I always think of what Meryl Streep said in the movie "Out Of Africa" (one of my faves!) "...I think she said to Dennis (Robert Redford)..."I'm much better at "hello"...." I relate. I remember another quote from her in that movie...sometimes when people read my poetry and my writing they say it is very romantic...well sometimes it really is...it just comes out of my spirit.... and yes it is soo true I am a romantic at heart...I long to have some of those experiences...so in that sense it isn't like I have lived that...it is from, as Meryl Streep said to Dennis and his friend "I have been a mental traveler..." I would have to say that my inner world is a very rich world replete with many treasures. We get so focused on the outward appearances and the superficial, when there are treasures inside these earthen vessels. Sharon and I talked about an experience I had in Israel...where I saw a little boy in a wheel chair who was crippled... after prayer...get up and walk to his mother. We all wept...and I remembered how it affected me, because I had the same experience as a little girl. When I was a child I became very ill with a fever....it was Rheumatic Fever...it left me paralyzed...affected my inner ears..and my heart. The doctors told my mother I would never walk again...would be on medication the rest of my life...but they were wrong...I was paralyzed for a year...but one day because of the faith of my mother and a little child believing in what God said to me, and prayer, I recieved a miracle...I got out of that wheel chair just like that little boy, and walked across the room to my mother and my aunt. I'm walking today, and my heart is fine!!:) sometimes I still have inner ear problems , but I believe I can still be healed from that! God is so good, and I give Him all the glory for everything in my life. Only by his grace....only by his grace.

"Rise and Shine!:)"

Gee...haven't been here in a while to write. It feels really good to be here this morning. It is grey and cloudy out but this little home feels so toasty and warm and I thank God for this sanctuary. I could feel it in my bones that I really had to write today..I will just let it flow and see where the river takes me this morning...Well..it was a great weekend and ...wow.. oh sorry...but....what a great song I'm listening to.."Confessions of a Pilgrim Heart"...wow... that was wonderful !! Hope I can concentrate to write:) I love this music....oh I have to focus here...OK.. wait a minute ....have to take a minute.... T.E. playing this gorgeous song...have to stop.Can't concentrate.... OK .. I'm back....gee.... I don't know if I can write and listen to this music at the same time..it is pulling me in and I am not going very far down this river right now...gonna go get a pillow...lay on the floor and listen..I'll be back later...I'll just have more inspiration:)...but for now I have to go where this music is taking me..... Bye..Bye...be back soon!