"Miss Bessie and... "Church off the Chain!"

Last night was just an amazing interlude in the day of a life. That is for sure! One of my closest and dearest friends is a woman by the name of Rochelle. She is an incredible woman full of love and comapssion who works as a social worker for the elderly. One of her giftings is her special love and her way with elderly forgotten people...and the poor. It touches my heart so much. The stories she has shared with me are amazing to be sure...but then Rochelle is one amazing woman! Rochelle grew up in the inner city of Detroit, Michigan..I grew up in the inner city of Cleveland, Ohio. She is black and I am white and we both have seen the ravages of racism in our lives growing up where we did. That is one whole big other story! At any rate Rochelle told me the other night she would be preaching at her church on Wednesday, so I told her I wanted to be there to support her in that, because I have never heard her preach before and this was her first time. So last night I stopped at my house after work before I headed out to Rochelle's church. I had forgotten to take the big trash can from off the curb, so down the driveway I went (in high heels of course:) to roll back the trash can ( you just take tinier steps thats all:) haha..) when I looked up and saw this very elderly lady across the street from me rolling her trash can back. I immediately stopped and walked over there and asked her if I could help her with it. She looked up at me and smiled and said "Oh no darlin I think I can get this." " Well I would be so happy to help if I can!" I said. She smiled at me and said" I've seen you out in the yard over there...did you just move in?" "Yes maam, just a few months ago"(I was living in the "hood "in Nashville, and now I have an adorable place with a big back yard and trees and flowers in a charming little neighborhood, and I don't hear gunshots in the night anymore! Thank you Lord...) " Well my name is Bessie and I have lived in this neighborhood for over 56 years in this house right here.....I was married for 56 years...my husband died just a few years ago...." Her eyes teared up...I thought as I looked at her"Oh my gosh!! 56 years...that is totally amazing. Her eyes were still moist and shining. I reached out and put my arms around her and hugged her and said "Miss Bessie that is so amazing....to spend your life with someone for 56 years and to have lived in the same house all these years...I bet you have seen so much!" I pointed out the beautiful Peony bush across from us that is getting ready to bloom...(One of my very favorite flowers!!) She told me her favorite flowers were red geraniums. She told me a story about the man who used to own the house on the corner and how the two yards where the town house I am now living in used to be covered in Peony bushes. The very spot I am living in used to be a huge garden! That blessed me so much. She began telling me how she washed her curtains that day and soaked them in epson salts before she hung them out on the line outside. "Won't you come in and see them?" she said. I said "Epson salts Miss Bessie?!!"" The only thing I have ever soaked in epson salts before has been me!! " She laughed as we walked in her house. She said"There they are!" so proudly," and you don't have to iron them either when you soak em like that!" Well there they were in all their glory...pretty as a picture little cottage curtains...ruffles and all!!:) I said "Miss Bessie they are just beautiful!" she said" Go on..you can touch them.." I was amazed! They looked like they had been perfectly ironed and felt like they had been starched! I knew I really needed to run on and get to Rochelle's church so I hugged her goodbye. When I got to my house I looked out in the back yard at the big pots of red geraniums that I planted last weekend. " I felt the prompting from within "Go on... just do it!!:)" I picked up one of the big pots full of the red geraniums and trotted across the street...it was heavy!! And I was still in those little black high heels:)...rang the doorbell, and watched Miss Bessie's face light up "Oh Honey!! What have you gone and done!!"

"Happy Mothers Day Miss Bessie!" I said as I choked up a bit...I imagined myself handing the red geraniums to my Mom who just recently passed away. "Oh honey they are just beautiful...you just shouldn't have done this...."I said :Oh yes Miss Bessie...oh yes! It is my greatest pleasure to do this!" And it was....it truly was.



As I got in the car I called Rochelle to let her know I was on my way. She said "Why don't you sing tonight before I preach!" I said "Oh my gosh girl...I mean....well uh...I uh....well!" "Patricia...get in that house and just bring a track...I want you to sing tonight! I said "Lord have mercy Rochelle...I mean I guess I could....welll......uhhh" You would never have thought that I have ever sung a day in my life!!! This sure isn't the way it has always been for me. You would never know now that I have spent most of my life touring, recording, and singing professionally.......before audiences of thousands and thousands of people.Have you ever seen the movie "The Natural"? It is one of my favorites...I relate to Roy Hobbs in that movie..."Yeah...Ive just been out of the game for a little while..." he said. What do you do when you have a gift and a passion for music from God? It never leaves...it is a gift. ( I will have to write about this at another time...it is a story in itself!!:) Well the long and short of it is ...my other dearest friend, several weeks ago insisted that I go buy a couple of tracks..Linda said "Patti...just go out and get some tracks and sing in the house..I mean you are singing already.... just get ready!!" I said "Ready for what Linda?!! Singing at the reception desk at my job!!? Right." I have to remeber that God's promises are for real!! If He says something he will do it! Our job is to believe! "OK...OK...I'll do it!" Well I ran back in the house and looked at these two tracks ( I would rather sing live with just a keyboard or guitar I thought...sometimes I just have an aversion to tracks!!) I looked at the one which I have never even sung and the Holy Spirit said" Yeah...that one! WHAT!! I said...Oh my gosh! I grabbed it , ran down the stairs, got in the car and started listening.... and singing...it feels safe in the car!!:) I thought this is crazy.....what am I doing?!! And this track is just off the chain...funky...horn section....loud!! Oh my gosh...what if this is just too much? I kept driving...and listening....


I got there almost on time! The church is in a small neighborhood.... in the hood!... mostly a black church with loving hearts and the sweetest pastor. I went in and Rochelle was already seated on the platform. I sat behind a row of little children.....sooo adorable. The service began and while we were in worship I opened my eyes and looked down and one of the little girls was looking up at me..I smiled at her, closed my eyes and continued singing in worship...when I opened my eyes I looked down and she was still looking up at me....now along with three other children. Then she started motioning to me..I smiled at her..... but sensed something...I looked up and Rochelle was looking at me from the platform and she mouthed to me"She is deaf" My heart was gripped. At that moment the little girl walked around the pew to me and reached up with her arms to me. I was done!! Just go ahead and put the fork in me....I was done!!!....I picked her up and held her so tight and kissed her little cheek. She sat close to me for awhile, and then the pastor introduced Rochelle, who then introduced me....I was J E L L O!! Yes indeed folks!!! J E L L O But something happened!!! I started to speak about the song that I was about to sing called"No Limits-Breakthrough" and how it was time to believe for the impossible and breakthroughs in our lives and I started to tear up...I was speaking to myself too. I was so overwhelmed, but I didn't cry...and Rochelle was standing right behind me saying"Yes!" "Go on now!" "Hallelujiah!" "Tell it straight girl!" and I didn't want to hear later "Girl don't make me have to come over there and tell you to go somewhere and "setdown"!:)...ha ha ha.... no one says it like Rochelle anyhow!! When they started the track and I opened my mouth my heart was pounding out of my chest..... suddenly I saw an explosion in the Spirit!! I felt like a stick of dynamite! Everyone got up on their feet, and I think the sound system kept going in and out , but it didn't matter!! I could feel the Lord's presence so tangibly in me and in the room, and the faces I was looking out at were so sweet, and receptive, and everyone was smiling and clapping and being blessed...it just didn't matter if my voice wasn't perfect...the children were dancing, people were given hope and me.....I had opened my mouth and sang my heart out for all it was worth in front of God,( with God ), and everyone, and Rochelle preached about recieving the Holy Spirit like a woman from another world...totally off the ever loving chain!!

And that group of little ones....those precious children! My new friend Lisa who is a friend of Rochelle's has had a huge battle with drugs and is now walking in recovery and helping other women who have struggled. She is going to have a home now, built by "Habitat", her very first home, and this was the first time I could celebrate with her! She has two adorable little boys and one of them was baptized Wednesday night..... , and some of the other children recieved the power of the Holy Spirit last night. It was such a humbling and powerful thing to witness...these babies filled with His Spirit....I trembled and wept. One of the little girls walked over to me and took my hand and stood so close to me and just kept looking in my eyes for the longest time...it was so powerful.... and precious. .(Isn't it something that we as adults can barely hold a gaze with someone for less than thirty seconds at most.... sometimes.) She has three sisters and her Mom and Dad were right there just beaming...what a sweet family. And what a special night...one that I won't soon forget. Dear God,I pray that you will continue to help me to overcome this fear and give me the strength and courage that I need to do what you want me to do.

As I look out my window upstairs I see everything turning so lush and green and the beautiful ivy climbing up the huge tree in my backyard..I see the old swing hanging from the tree...I remember how I used to love to get in a swing when I was a little girl and go as high as I could and laugh and laugh...I want to do that again....I want to laugh and laugh and get in the swing and go as high as I can!! But now, he has given me another picture.... I can see His hand holding the ropes .....It makes me think about something Jesus said.... Matthew 18:3 "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdon of heaven." I want to enter in...how about you?

"Winds of Change"

It is the quintessential spring day in Tennessee if ever there was one! There is just no place like springtime in Tennessee.... but the winds are really high today...and as I stood outside in the sun, I closed my eyes..... in my spirit I heard "the winds of change are blowing"..yes these are the winds of change." Isn't it amazing how you can wait so long, pray and pray and pray for change, but as you sense it's coming you almost want to run the other way!! Not really but.....We are such an interesting lot:) Are we not?!!:) Then I had another picture...God gives me pictures sometimes...I saw the scene from the Titanic when Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio are standing on the bough of the ship... she was scared at first, but she let go as he held her, and she opened her eyes and leaned into the wind. I just keep hearing the Holy Spirit say.................
"Just lean into the wind....Just lean into the wind...let it take you..I've got you...you're safe..Just lean into the wind and let it take you to where I want you to be. Just trust me...keep your focus on me and just trust me." God is so faithful. Even in all of our pain and questions, and not understanding so much....with no answers.... I've been thinking about my Mom alot today...I miss her so much...she passed away very recently...she is the one who brought music into my life...I remember the Sunday mornings when I was a little girl..I would wake up to the smell of meatballs, and spaghetti sauce cooking on the stove and some great jazz artist playing on the record player. And she would be singing in the kitchen along with Tony Bennett or Sarah Vaughn, Ella Fitzgerald...so many others. That is the music I cut my teeth on I guess you would say. And R&B!!:) I remember right before she died, sometimes she would sing on the phone to me..I would say "Mom sing me a song.." And very feebly she would begin...sometimes she would forget words and I would help her...tears were streaming down my face, but I never let her know that i was crying on the other end...I spent most of my life away from her and missed her very much...and I still do. I know it is time to sing again...even though the doctors told me I might never be able to sing again...or even talk the same...Look at God! I talk exactly the same...and I can still sing. Lord give me the courage to see this through. I know it is what she would want me to do......I feel the winds of change....

Love,
Patricia

Quote friom the movie "Basquiat" Directed by Julian Schnabel

I was watching the movie Basquiat. I heard this spoken and I had to stop. It completely arrested me and I felt it worthy of quoting and remembering..... The narration may have been by the director Julian Schnable.

"What is it about art anyway that we give it so much importance? Artists are respected by the poor because what they do is an honest way to get out of the slums using one's sheer self as a medium. The money earned is proof pure and simple that the value of that individual is the artist. The picture a mother's son does in jail hangs on her wall, and is proof that beauty is possible even in the most wretched, and this is a much different idea than art is a scam and a ripoff. But you could never explain this to someone who uses God's gift to enslave, but you have used God's gift to be free."

Basquiat was being interviewed and here are several quotes from him that I loved.

"People are generally crude...I don't know that many refined people."

The question was posed to him by the interviewer....
"Do you consider yourself a painter or a black painter? Basquiat responded....

"Oh I use a lot of colors besides black." (I love it!!!)

And something he said that I would like to put on a T Shirt....
"I don't exploit.....No."

The Artist

The artist's way is, some might say...

Like the changing of the tide

From life's stormy seas

Captured in antimony

With my eyes ever looking to the sky....

I remain a woman-child deep inside

And so to this end....ever changing still

There is a song that I am humming...

And within the beauty of the melody...

"The joy lies in the becoming"

Quotes by Madeline L'Engle

Madeline L'Engle is one of my favorite artists. Here are some quotes by her.


A book comes and says, "Write me." My job is to try to serve it to the best of my ability, which is never good enough, but all I can do is listen to it, do what it tells me and collaborate.

Our truest responsibility to the irrationality of the world is to paint or sing or write, for only in such response do we find the truth.

Infinity is present in each part. A loving smile contains all art. The motes of starlight spark and dart. A grain of sand holds power and might.

Truth is eternal. Knowledge is changeable. It is disastrous to confuse them.

I do not think that I will ever reach a stage when I will say, "This is what I believe. Finished." What I believe is alive ... and open to growth.

What I believe is so magnificent, so glorious, that it is beyond finite comprehension. To believe that the universe was created by a purposeful, benign Creator is one thing. To believe that this Creator took on human vesture, accepted death and mortality, was tempted, betrayed, broken, and all for love of us, defies reason. It is so wild that it terrifies some Christians who try to dogmatize their fear by lashing out at other Christians, because tidy Christianity with all answers given is easier than one which reaches out to the wild wonder of God's love, a love we don't even have to earn.

In the evening of life we shall be judged on love, and not one of us is going to come off very well, and were it not for my absolute faith in the loving forgiveness of my Lord I could not call on him to come

Those who believe they believe in God but without passion in the heart, without anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, and even at times without despair, believe only in the idea of God, and not in God himself.

Deepest communion with God is beyond words, on the other side of silence.

I will have nothing to do with a God who cares only occasionally. I need a God who is with us always, everywhere, in the deepest depths as well as the highest heights. It is when things go wrong, when good things do not happen, when our prayers seem to have been lost, that God is most present. We do not need the sheltering wings when things go smoothly. We are closest to God in the darkness, stumbling along blindly

When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability.... To be alive is to be vulnerable

The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been

I like the fact that in ancient Chinese art the great painters always included a deliberate flaw in their work: human creation is never perfect

"The Greatest Dignity of All"

This is part of a quote for today from Ransomed Heart Ministries. It is deep and true.

" If you want a world where love is real, you must allow each person the freedom to choose."

"Set Apart and Appointed"

This is lovely and I hope it will encourage you today

Set Apart and Appointedby Jon Walker
"I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my spokesman to the world." (Jeremiah 1:5 NLT)
Of all my teachers in school, the most influential was Judy Black, my English teacher at Miami Killian High School. Because of Judy, I can still recite the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet; I know the significance of Xanadu; and I know one of the things that attracted me to my wife is that she looked like she’d just stepped out of a Pre-Raphaelite painting.
But the greatest gift Judy gave me was the confidence that I was shaped to be a writer. She believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. For years, when few people read what I wrote, she encouraged me. She still writes to me regularly, asking me to report on the progress of my novel (25 years in the making – someday, Judy).
In Jeremiah 1:5, we’re taught that God created Jeremiah to share the Creator’s message with the nations. I believe God shaped (appointed) Judy Black to share her enthusiasm for English and literature with public high school students like me. I now believe God shaped me to share my writing with others (thank you, Judy); and I believe God created you to share yourself with those around you.
We are all diminished if you hide yourself under a bushel, keeping your skills, your talents, your insights, your joy, and your pain hidden from others. God wants you to share yourself; he created you with a uniqueness that enriches the world when you give yourself to the community around you.
Ask God why He created you and what you’re supposed to give away. Whose life will you influence by giving your time and talent? Maybe you’re a great singer, or a great cook, or a great mechanic, or a great teacher. Whatever gift God has given you, he gave it to you to give away in service to him.
So what?
· God gave you life; now give – You were created to share your life and talents with the community around you. Whatever gifts God gave you, he gave them to you so you could give them in service to him.
· Find a way to share – What is your talent? What is your passion? Whatever it is, ask God to show you ways to share it with others. Tell God you want to be used by him to bless those around you, and then begin to actively watch for the doors he opens.
· Say thanks to one who shared – No doubt someone in your life was influential to you, just as Judy was influential to me. Maybe you haven’t seen or heard from that person in years or maybe that person lives in the same house as you. Regardless, talk/call/write/visit that person and say thank you – “Thank you for what you shared and for the way you so deeply influenced my life.”
© 2007 Jon Walker. All rights reserved.